In the book, I relay real stories I’ve heard from patients and even from friends, keeping it all anonymous. So of course that has affected how I look at relationships. I’ve been a psychiatrist for twenty-five years, studying, researching, and treating sexual disorders and addictions.
I’ve tried to convey what I have learned though my own clinical work and research. What’s the source material for your book? Another point that I repeatedly make in my book is that many people are driven toward self-destruction. Much of what drives us toward sex is not orgasm, but intrigue, excitement, desire, a quest for validation and a sexualized attempt to prove one’s power over others. Orgasm, in the case of men, lasts for a matter of seconds, for women, rare y longer than a minute. What we call “sex” often has little to do with actual sexual gratification. Do some people cheat because they have a higher biological sex drive than others, or is it because of their psychology?īoth! The book details our evolutionary, biological desire to cheat, but what drives people is not just the biological urge for sex, but the need to feel strong and validated. In your book, you discuss the biology of infidelity. With cheating and furtive sex occurring so often, I thought that it would helpful to understand what motivates these behaviors and how we can prevent them and fix ourselves. As a result, I decided to write a book that not only pertains to those with compulsive and impulsive disorders like sex addiction, but which pertains to us “normal” folks. Still to this day, it is mind-boggling, even to me, how otherwise rational and cautious people could become addicted to dysfunctional love and put their lives on the line for new sex.
But they had this secret of a self-destructive quest for sex.īeing a specialist on addiction, I became fascinated about how easily all genders can develop an irrational exuberance for certain lovers and sexual encounters, even when the consequences are devastating. My patients are generally men and some women with seemingly great marriages, great families, great careers.
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